Michelle's Family

Here I sit at 2:20 in the morning now.  It's one of those nights when my mind is racing about well, life and I just can't get to sleep.  This will make for one tired...but hopefully not too grumpy mama in the morning. 

You know it's hard to see the people you love make choices that you just know are going to come back to bite them in the tooshy.  But what can I do?  It's not my choice.  It's also hard to know to that the people you love have decided that the person they are when with you, is a farce.  It feels less than honest.  Almost like the entire relationship is not real. If you can't tell, I have some "drama" going on in my life right now.  At least, emotionally and mentally I do. 

I know where to turn for help though.  I will look "unto the hills from whence cometh my help". I'm so grateful that I can turn to my God who loves me.  My Abba, who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

I love you Lord, my strength.

Do you ever have days when you are just grumpy?  You don't have any particular reason why your grumpy...you just are.  Today is my day.  I hate days like these.  I've gotten angry at Timothy.  And Jessica.  I called Ronnie and fussed at him because he didn't write the kids orthodontist appointment in my appointment book.  I really hate myself (okay, not really hate...more like dislike) when I do that to him.  He's at work...was up hours before me...and I call to fuss because he didn't write in an appointment he made.  I should make that up to him.  I think I'll go text him my apology again.  I've already called back and apologized, but I feel really guilty right now about that

Maybe it's this terrible headache I have that's making me like this.  I don't really have an excuse.  I slept in this morning.  Hannah slept with me  (sweet snuggling going on!), so I'm not tired.  I just feel blah.  I don't want to do anything and I need to get up and clean the kitchen and get a load of laundry folded and another one washed. 

I need to spend some time in my Bible and prayer.  That's probably what the problem is. 

I wanted to let everyone know that I've updated the pictures on here, with our full adoption album if you are interested in seeing pic's of the whole family on adoption day.  Just click on the album named "Adoption Day Photo's" and you will get to see all the pictures from this blessed event.

I also wanted to tell you all about a GREAT homeschool resource!  The web is a magnificent thing, is it not?  You can find TONS of public domain books on here to read to your children and many of them you'd pay a pretty hefty penny for if you bought from a book store.  Well, someone in my homeschool group has a wonderful website full of great things for Christians and homeschoolers!  She has started a website that is listing public domain AUDIO books!  Did you hear that?  A-U-D-I-O BOOKS!  How great is that?  So when I went to her website, the book she has featured on this webpage is called "American History Stories Volume 2 by Mara L. Pratt".  You can check out her page here.  I think I'll add a link to her pages in my homeschool section. 

Also, I wanted to congratulate our friends the Mike and Meri on the finalization of the adoption of their son, Nathan Isaiah.  They have a wonderful testimony and I encourage you to read it on their website! 

 Our Gifts From God

Congratulations!! 

I really am going to get back to blogging more often....I am.  Seems like I'm always pressed for time now, trying to "catch up" with our home schooling, so I just haven't made the time to do it as much.

Weight loss update.  I'm now down 10lbs.  This is the longest I've ever stuck with a diet, so this is major for me!  I'm hoping to see the 180's this week, but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.  One thing I think I have discovered though is that my body needs for me to come off my diet ever so often.  It seems that If I stay strictly on my diet, my body just seems to STOP losing weight.  My mom told me to come off my diet a couple of days and see if my weight loss would start back.  So I did.  And she was right.  She usually is.  I had the opportunity to test this again last week.  I "cheated" on my diet 3 different times (in a big way...ate out all 3 times).  I still lost 2lbs.  Before cheating, I was actually closer to 4lbs weight loss!  So I'm happy about the fact that I can eat other foods besides Nutrisystem's sometimes. 

Mother's Day was great.  Ronnie, Stephen, Michael and Timothy worked their butts off on the yard, and it's looking so much better.   I've hated our yard since we moved here, and I'm just now beginning to see it turn into something I like. That was a GREAT Mother's Day gift.  However, I have to say Jessica get's my "favorite" Mother's Day award this year.  She told me so sweetly that morning before church, "Of all my mommies, you're my favorite and I love you best."  She'd had 5 different "Mommies" the year before she came to live with me, so I think it's a great honor that she feels this way about me.  I told you all awhile back, that I've learned with older child adoption, it's not about just us picking the kids...it's about the kids picking us too.  I think I've been "picked". 

Josh is giving me some lip since the adoption, and we've....let me rephrase that....I've had to deal with some very tough parenting/discipline decisions.  We believe in spanking.  Normal, non-abusive, spankings.  However, I'm not sure that I need to do this with Josh.  Jessica, no problem.  She actually equated this with being our "real" child, so she almost looked forward to it.  I doubt we'll ever do a lot of spanking though.  So far she had 1 swat on the leg because she undid the top of her carseat while I was going down the I 20 at 70mph, and refused to buckle it until I pulled off the road. 

Josh is different.  I'm not sure what to do with him.  He thrives on positive reinforcement, but he still does naughty stuff.  Timeouts only seem to make him angrier.  In fact, ANY kind of punishment makes him angrier.  So I finally gave him 2 licks the other day.  One for lying (repeatedly....blatantly....and tried to get his sister to lie for him also.) and then one for his angry attitude/countenance.  I wasn't sure what I should do during the confrontation, but after the second lick, he angry countenance melted away and his awful attitude totally changed.  I don't know if we'll spank him much at all.  It will be a very rare thing I'm sure.  But I think I did the right thing that time.  He was soooooooo much happier after that. 

Now for some big news!  Michael got his LEARNER'S PERMIT!  Yep.  You read correctly.  I know what you are thinking.  "Michelle can't POSSIBLY have a child old enough to drive"  After all, I've celebrated my 29th birthday like, 7 times.  But alas, it is true.  My oldest son is now on the road to becoming an independent little squirt.  I'm very proud of him.  He missed only 3 problems on the test (out of 40).  And even driving to church (which in only like 4 miles of country roads away) has become an adventure. He'd kill me if I told you about him running off the road, so I won't mention that.  Or how he almost pulled out in front of a vehicle.  So I won't tell you all about that at all.  He really is doing well.  I think he will be a better driver than his Mom eventually! 

Okay, here the quick update for the rest of the family.

Ronnie's at a work meeting and he took Michael (he drove of course), Josh, Jessica and Hannah.  It's like a picnic meeting and Michael will babysit, if it means he gets to drive, lol.

Stephen's sick and has a fever and sore throat.  His interest in soccer has been renewed this season and he LOVES his coach this year.

Timothy is own restriction for about half his life.  But he can be so sweet.  He wrote made me the sweetest card for Mother's Day. 

Sarah is doing great and begging for my chicken soup that's cooking.  She's so adorable and she's doing wonderful in school.

Josh is doing better in school!  His teacher wrote on the bottom of his progress report, "Wow!  What an improvement!"  In spite of his bad attitude lately, he's been a total "mama's boy".

Jessica is thriving under the permanency of a "forever" family.  She's still obssessed with food though.

Hannah is absolutely a joy!  She is soooo much fun.  She's mimicing everyone, loves Sponge Bob, is talking up a storm and thinks this entire family revolves around her.  It just about does. 

I'm home just for a few minutes but I wanted to tell everyone that today, at 9:00 a.m. we received our final notice for our adoption decree!  Praise God, our kids are now legally ours forever.  Jessica and Joshua are thrilled with this and can't wait to sleep with us tonight. 

Here is our first family picture with Judge Kirby.  Jessica's face got cut off at the bottom of the picture  I'll post more later....right now we're going to Jumping Jelly Bean to celebrate!   Love to you all, Michelle

We have a lot going on at our house today.  Today is my precious daughter's birthday. Jessica is 4 years old .   Sarah and I baked a birthday cake for her, and we will decorate it later.  She wanted everything on the planet that was pink, girly, or looked fun.  I honestly think if she saw a commercial with kids playing in poop, she'd want the poop, lol.  She's so adorable.  I always try to cook my children's favorite meal or else take them out to eat if they prefer on their birthday.  When I asked my food-obsessed little girl what she wanted to eat on her birthday she told me chicken, green beans, corn, macaroni and cheese, and mashed potatoes.  When I asked her what kind of cake she wanted, she said, "I want brownies, cookies, cupcakes, and chocolate."  She is so cute, but I'm going to have to watch her diet carefully.  Today, she will feast.  I will let her eat whatever she wants.  Food issues are common with foster children, because of the neglect they often recieved at home.  In my experience, foster children tend to want to hoard food when they get it because they are still in survival mode eating excessive amounts of food when they can because they don't know when they'll get it again.  Jessica seems to take excessive amounts of pleasure in food.  She thinks of food constantly and is always asking for more.  She daydreams of the day when she's old enough to make her own food.  She talks about when she's a grown-up how she will be a chef and make food "allll the time". and gets to "cut my own sandwiches".  Food is very comforting to her, and she definitely uses it as an emotional crutch.  I'll never forget the time she went to her room and curled up in the fetal position and was sobbing because she wanted another cookie and she didn't think we'd let her have one.  I have plan to help her get past these issues but I haven't implemented it yet.  The first thing I'm going to try is making her bags of healthy food that she can eat as much as she wants, anytime she wants.  I think I'll have some carrots, cucumber slices, broccoli, and maybe some apple slices in baggies for her to help herself to.  I'm so grateful that 4 years ago today my precious Jessica was born....a beautiful little 6lb baby with a head full of dark hair.  I'm praying for her birth mommy today.

Speaking of food I'm dieting.  I'm not good at this.  In fact, I do not know of anyone who is worse than I am at it.  In all my years of dieting, 2 weeks is the longest I've ever stuck to a diet.  So I'm getting close to my dieting record.  I want to be thin.  But usually I don't want to be thin as much as I want eat food.  Unlike most dieters, I don't  feel guilty after eating the wrong foods or the excessive amounts of food.  And I'm not extremely unhappy about my appearance either.  Yes, I think I'd be more attractive if I were thinner, but I don't feel "ugly" now.  I DO want my husband to think I'm hot  .  I DO want to be healthier.  I DO want to get my pre-diabetes, boderline high blood pressure self healthier before it gets out of control.  My days on this earth are numbered, as is everyones.  I'd prefer to live life as healthy as I can so that I can ENJOY my life and family.  So I signed up Nutrisystem.  I figured the premade meals that I spent an astronomical amount of money on would motivate me to stick to this plan.  However, what do you do when you stay on your diet and STILL don't lose weight?  I lost weight last week, but this week I haven't lost any so far.  Well, I haven't really been following the plan.  I'm actually not eating enough calories (been getting under a 1000 this week) and not drinking enough water or eating all of the snack meals they recommend.  I've GOT to get back on track.  But today is harder than normal, with that delicious frosting over there on the counter calling my name.  I've eaten some already.  And I didn't measure it out to see how many calories it was.  I am bad.  Bad to the bone.  I don't even feel guilty.

Just wanted to give an update to everyone about how things are going. 

Well, all of my kids are doing wonderful to be honest.  Hannah had her 2nd birthday recently (in March) and we started potty training her just before her birthdate.  She's doing so well on that...I don't think I could ask for much better.  She had 3 (or was it 4?) days with NO potty accidents this week, but today she had a couple.  That's the way it goes when potty training, lol.  Her birthday was wonderful.  We were so happy to get to celebrate her 2nd birthday with her.  She got lots of books and a couple of toys...and of course clothes.  Ronnie and I have decided that since Christmas is supposed to be about Christ and since we have soooo many children to buy for now, now would be a good time to implement our new plan.  Our children will have very modest Christmases from here on out (like $50 or less per child) but will have big(ger) birthday's.  This will allow us to focus on each child a little more.  So she had a nice birthday, with cake and tons of LOVE.  She's completely adjusted to being in our family...and to be honest, I find myself forgetting that I didn't actually "birth" her!  This comes as quite a surprise to me...but it's true nontheless.  She is all but worshipped around her, and I can't thank God enough for this sweet blessing.

Jessica's birthday is next week.  My little princess will be 4.  She is just doing so incredibly good.  She's so comfortable and happy here now.  Sometimes she actually laments the fact that it "took so long" for her to find us. It brings tears to my eyes every time she says something like that.  She said the other day, "Why is our house so far away?".  I asked her, "Far away from what?".  She repeated the question, lol.  I told her our house ISN'T far away....then she said, "Uh huh...why did it take that lady so long to bring us here?"  My poor baby.  Of course, she was referring to her former caseworker.  I've mentioned before in the past that she lived in 3 other homes BESIDES ours...and moved to our home twice.  The second time is the last time of course.  She's also now become comfortable enough in our love for her to say things when she gets angry at us like, "I wish I was living with my OTHER family before here.", lol.  This truly is a GOOD sign....she knows she's here to stay.  I always call her bluff and she makes it quickly apparent she didn't mean it.  I always tell her, that's a good thing because she's not going anywhere now, 'cause she's "my baby", lol.  (I've given up on preparing the kids for the "just in case you don't get to stay" scenario).  She knows NOTHING will shake our love for her and she can get angry with us...or I can GET angry at her, and it's okay.  Normal family stuff.   April 30th can't come quick enough for me. 

Joshua is just amazing.  He's doing so well and has truly embraced (at least by all appearances he has) being a part of our family.  He's actually hugging us more and more...and writing me sweet notes (with the help of his siblings spelling words for him).  He's decided that he does NOT want to be called by his birth name at all...and he gets irritated that others keep forgetting.  His bus driver does it on purpose, lol.  He finally told Sarah and Timothy that if they called him by his old name, he was going to call that person, "it",  rofl.  We had a lot of fun with that one!  We all decided that we would change our names and if anyone called us by our old names, we'd call that person "it".  We had so much fun.  I decided my name would be "Mother Dearest".  I thought I'd mention that in Josh's kindergarten class, several of his classmates decided that Josh's name change was great and THEY wanted a name change too.  So one boy is now called "Sponge Bob" and another kid decided on something like "Bolt", lol. His teacher said she laughs evertime she sees it written on the top of his paper, lol.   He's adjusting far better than I ever expected.

Sarah is doing sooooooooooooooooooo much better.  She's finally embracing the idea of being a "big sister".  She loves her little sister's and brother.  She's doing great in school and is such a huge helper around here.  She and I sneak off for some alone time frequently and I just this special time.  She's doing well in school.

Timothy....keeps my on my toes...and my knees.  I love him dearly and he brings a lot of fun to my life.  He's doing well in school and can be so helpful at times.  Last night, the rest of the family was gone, so just me and Timmy were here.  He and I decided to clean while they were gone and he was so happy-go-lucky about it.  I love how cheerful he is when we're alone together. 

Stephen is doing great. He's really doing good with his school and he's like my right arm. He helps with his siblings, does his school work, and helps clean.  And for the most part, he does this without complaint. I'm a very blessed mom!  He had his 13th birthday and got a new PSP for it.  He such a great kid, I was glad we could get this for him.

Michael is doing well also.  He's still not caught up with school, but I see improvement .  I'm also seeing him mature.  This is great...because as his Mom, I *need* to see this right now ;).  His attitude is improving some also...but sometimes it feels like it's 1 step forward and 2 back.  I love having him here with me though and I'm not looking forward to the day when he's out of my house....well, most of the time I'm not looking forward to that.  He follows me around part of every day, talking about philosophy or politics.  So much so that my brain is shutting down :/ .  Seriously, I only have a few active brain cells these days, and I need them for other things, lol.  I need time to just be "dumb", without thinking too hard.  He was just in here, and told me he thinks he wants to go to a public school for his Senior year.  I'll have to think seriously about that.  And pray. 

That's it for now.  Love to everyone!

Imagine being able to search the entire Bible for a phrase, at the click of a button.  Or maybe you just want to search the book of Joel.  Imagine being able to see the Holy Land from space and compare it to maps of the same area from years gone by.  This weeks Christian resource is a computer program that we have been using for years, for free (although you can give a donation if you'd like).  It has all of those capabilities, plus much more!  We use it all the time, and have found it to be invaluable to us in our Christian studies. 

This program has many versions of the Bible, numerous commentaries of the Bible, including Matthew Henry's complete Bible commentary, various Bible dictionaries, Strong's concordance, bible maps, Christian books, both fiction and non-fiction, and multiple other things.  You also have the option of downloading certain resources (like your favorite Bible version) for a small fee.  This fee is charged by the publishers, not the maker of this program.  So there is a LOT available in this free download .

You will have to spend the time sitting at the computer to download each book, commentary, etc. individually, but this has it's benefits.  You know that by downloading this way, you will only get things that you really want. 

I highly recommend this program!  Download E-Sword today .

*Note:  The thought occurs to me that I might sound like a saleswoman for this.  I'm not....I'm just really enthusiastic about this program and all of its benefits. 

Occassionally, people will ask me out of curiosity what a "typical" day is like for us and usually, I have a hard time explaining that.  It just varies so much.  However, I think days like today are becoming our new normal.  No, we don't do all the same exact things that we did today, everyday, but it's usually just as busy.

So for the curious, here's what this week has looked like for us.  We almost always get up at 7am, and that starts the day.

Monday we had an appointment with our lawyer at 9 a.m and an appointment with Joshua's counselor at 10:45 but they called and cancelled.  After the lawyer appt. we came home and did some school work and then cleaned.  Lawyer's office called to tell us the court date and that they had our fingerprint forms ready for us to pick up.  Waited till Josh got home, went and got the forms, and met Ronnie at the jail for us to get our fingerprints done. Picked up pizza on the way home for dinner (chik-fil-a for me). 

Tuesday-school till 1pm, and then we had piano.  Home for more school and then off the soccer practice at 4:45pm. Cooked Spaghetti for dinner.

Today, I had a dental appointment for Stephen at 9:45, then grocery shopping, unload groceries and eat, FAST.  Leave for Jessica's dental appointment at 12:15 p.m.  Ronnie called and asked me to bring him a milkshake on way home.  Got home at  2:30  and cleaned some.  Need to leave at 4:00 for art.  After I drop them off, I'll come home and cook.  Pick up the kids from art at 6pm (usually Ronnie does this for me).  We'll have supper when they get home, and then we have church at 7pm. As soon as we get home from church, we'll get Joshua in the tub and then off to bed. Making 2x4 soup for dinner tonight.

Currently I'm sleep deprived.  I think I got 6 hours of sleep Monday night, 5 Tuesday, and 6½ hours last night.  This is my life.  It's very busy and often exhausting, taking care of all the people in my home. I'm okay with that. 

It almost seems surreal, but we actually have a court date!  I keep thinking something is going to come along to slow this down and mess this up! 

April 30th, 2009  we have court scheduled at 8:30 a.m. to have the adoption of our children finalized.  We are so excited and can't wait to have this over with...to have the right to make the parental decisions for our children, without having to consult people who do not know us or our kids.  YEAH!  We are praising God tonight for this wonderful event.